Hello. I realized I haven’t really introduced myself.
My name is Katrina. (Katie to those who refuse to call me Katrina)
Have you ever noticed how extremely hard it is to write about yourself when asked? However if you’re talking to a friend it just comes naturally and you usually cannot stop? Well that’s me.
I am a scatterbrained individual and lover of many things. I don’t really have a favorite anything. I recently had a friend tell me that usually a dog will look a lot like it’s owner. That isn’t my case. I have had so many different breeds. I love them all!
Food is my friend. I absolutely love sushi. 2 years ago I would have said “ew, raw fish?! Never!” But my sister dragged me out to a sushi restaurant and I was hooked! I also love Mexican and Italian. I would, however chose a yummy piece of chicken covered in mushrooms and cheese over a steak any day!
I love the outdoors, but I am definitely a fair weather gal. I can not handle the heat, and it takes hours for me to warm up after being out in the cold! So I tend to be a bit of a homebody. Spending most of my time in front of the computer either working or browsing facebook, youtube, and pinterest.
I do like hiking, camping (though I’m getting way too old to sleep on the ground-glamping looks so nice!), swimming, kayaking, you name it. I love laying on the beach with a good book, or even sitting pool side. You’ll usually see me out of the water more than in!
Now the real story.
Growing up I was picked on a lot. Kids are so incredibly mean. When I moved from Phoenix to Minnesota in first grade, I spent most of my time indoors and gained quite a bit of weight. I was the kid who was picked on at school by everyone. I only had a couple friends (one of who I am still friends with!) I felt bad about myself from the time I was very little. My mom would always be very judgmental about what I wore, telling me that I didn’t look good in something, or that I looked fat in that outfit. At the age of 8 my father taught me how to suck my stomach in and how to make it a habit by sucking it in when you walked into a room and letting it out when you walked out.
School was so bad that by 5th grade my parents sent me to a new school. I really lucked out and enjoyed that school. For 2 years I had quite a few friends and only a couple kids picked on me. Then we moved again back to Phoenix. Within 2 years even the few friends I made at school were picking on me, calling me names, and refusing to play with me because I was fat and ugly. (that’s what they told me)
From Kindergarten to 8th grade I attended very small private schools. My 8th grade class had 8 kids in it. There was no way to get away from the bullies, and no new friends to make.
I flat out refused to be sent to the private high school in Phoenix. Thankfully my parents agreed to send me to the local public high school. I was both nervous and excited. I already had a friend next door (who I am still friends with today!) and I just knew I would be able to make friends there.
I loved High school. Don’t get me wrong, it had it’s bad moments. I was still picked on by a couple kids, but it wasn’t to be mean. It was just more messing around. I was in Marching band, concert band, and jazz band. I made friends both in band and in my other classes.
I was already scarred though. I had such low self esteem. My first year of high school I wore no make-up and wore nothing but over sized t-shirts and ugly jeans. I was boy crazy, but couldn’t understand why the boys didn’t like me. I just figured that I was so fat and ugly. I had 2 boyfriends that first year. one lasted but a month. The other one I found out was a bet to get me into bed (which I am proud to say he didn’t win!)
It took me 2 years to finally start dressing like a girl. Wearing dresses more often and sometimes wearing make-up. Though I have to admit, my make-up would melt off in the heat and I hated reapplying it. I was lazy, so didn’t wear make-up very often!
It has taken me many years to start to like me. I still struggle with it some days. What has really helped me is all the amazing people who have come and gone in my life. I know I’m not the perfect weight. I don’t have the perfect hair, or the perfect figure. I’m not super smart. I’m not very witty. But I am a great listener. I love to help my friends. I have a big heart. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I really don’t know how to. I cannot lie. Just one little white lie eats me up inside. I am fiercely loyal to my friends and family. I will never make fun of you or say something mean to you.
I hope that in the future I can bring some measure of joy and happiness to more people. I truly do believe that we are already beautiful, just being who we are. We all have our struggles. Each and every one of us. None of us are alone! No one is perfect!
So if you just need an ear, someone to talk to, I would love to listen. We can never have too many friends!